No Goodbyes

May 21, 2019

Leaning against a young tree, I can’t get the song, “No Goodbyes” by Shoffy, out of my head, even to the point that I was changing the beat of the song to follow the song of the birds. However, the lyrics remained the same—in particular, “Give me love, give me love//til the sun, til the sun//comes up, comes up.” The song itself has a haunting sound, a feeling of loneliness and yearning. Interpreting the message, I understand that the writer expresses being lonely at night, wanting his loved one to stay with him through the dark times. I can relate to this message of loneliness often. However, what I have a differing perspective on is the night and the day.
I have struggled with insomnia for quite some time, often spending many hours up during the night to lay and to think and to do. When I first started struggling with sleep, those endless nights were dreadfully lonely and I yearned for sleep and yearned for someone to be with me. But now with more time up in the night, I have found that many times the dark night is one of the only places I feel truly myself. With no one around, I am free to think for myself—free to do and feel whatever I will. Most times I do not find myself yearning for companionship in these times of dark solitude. Now, the night must be contrasted with the day. During the daytime is when I can feel the most lonely. There are expectations of communication and companionship during the bright times, in which if there is an absence of, then one will feel lonely.
Thinking about these stark opposites lead me to comparing the forest and the city. To me, the forest is the dark, the night, and the city is the daytime. In the forest I do not yearn for companionship or conversation—I am most at peace when I am left for myself to think and explore and ponder. However, in the city there is so much stimulation. In absence of people or activities often I feel lonely and desperate, much like in the daytime.
However, the night and day are inevitable. They will keep on cycling until the end of time. However, neither the forest or the city are inevitable. The city can be built over the forest, and both can be destroyed. In order to hold on to the forest that provides such a sense of peace and stability and life, we must preserve it—or else be bound to absurd solitude and loneliness throughout the rest of our time.

Lauren Nicole Geiser